I'm not crying, y-you stupid, waste of air and nice ass, f-fuck you. [And here comes the cruel words and denials because like hell she's going to admit to emotions.]

We can, we can. Oh we can, my darling, my sweet. We could do it, and this time we could be happy for ever. Together, you, I, we could do it and we could have it all. [She's practically begging, something she's never done in her long lived life, but the very idea of never having him again, his warmth, his laughter, his kisses, never having any of it fills her with the same ice that the idea of running did. She couldn't live that life, not when she's had what she has with him. Nothing could compare]

Lysunder, please, my darling, my sweet, my heart, I love you. So very much. I want you, I need you, and deep down you want and need me too. We were so much better together. We helped each other so very , how can you not see that we were perfection incarnate together, you and I? [This time the choked sob escapes, as well as a tear before she can angrily wipe them away. And it aches, her heart aches with every beat, more then it did with a knife through it. It aches and it hurts and she wishes she could just tear it out and keep going, tear it and all her memories out. This is what flushed feels like and this is what she ran from, away from handing all her control to another. And it hurts and she just doesn't know how to stop it]